When You Come to Your Senses
by Saissa
Summary: This is the backstory of Loren Singer that I have always wanted to write. This story is non canon and also includes my version of what happens when Harriet and Loren meet at JAG. Rated T for language. I do not own any JAG characters or canon story lines. That's why I write Non-Canon stories. JAG belongs to Donald Bellisario.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - This is the back story of Loren Singer I have always wanted to write, to explain her personality at JAG. This story begins in the year 1988 when Harm and Loren first meet. Harm is 24 years old and Loren is 16.. **

**This story will also include some serious Harriet bashing. So if you DO LIKE Harriet Sims-Roberts, then please DO NOT read, DO NOT review and DO NOT complain. There will be three chapters. Harriet Sims-Roberts will not show up until Chapter 2. **

**I do not own any part of JAG. JAG characters and storylines are owned by Donald P. Bellisario**

Chapter 1 - Summer of 1988

The shadow fell across her body and she twitched, waiting for the person to move on.

"Do you mind moving?" she snapped, still with her eyes closed. "You're blocking the sun".

"My, you are bitchy today, aren't you." drawled an unknown but definitely male voice.

Loren's eyes snapped open. With the sun shining from the direction it was in, the male figure standing over her had the sun directly on his back and she couldn't see any detail - other than he was clearly very tall.

"It's a public beach. I can sunbathe wherever I want to..." Loren snapped.

"Well, actually no you can't. Not on these beaches. There are signs up on the road that say that these beaches are private and you must have permission to access them. You are actually on private property. How did you get here anyway? You didn't come through my family's property. I would have seen you."

"I came from up north - been walking along the beaches for miles and miles. Sat down here coz I'm tired. Didn't see any signs."

"Really? You walked all that way? How far? Carlsbad?" he asked

"Oceanside." she muttered.

He whistled. "You must be hungry. Would you like something to eat?"

"I don't take charity." she snapped again.

He put his hands up and stepped back. 'Woah. Ok. I'm sorry if that came out wrong, but I meant what I said. It's a long walk from Oceanside. My mother makes a great lasagne and we have lots of left-overs. I'd be happy to get you some."

Loren sighed with frustration and sat up. Clearly this person was not going to go away until he had done his good deed for the day. But then again, she was hungry and some lasagne did sound like a good idea.

"OK! Fine! I'll have some lasagne!" she responded in a churlish tone.

He didn't move."Didn't your mother ever teach you how to be polite?" He grinned. Loren saw a flash of brilliant white teeth.

"I do not have a mother. She died when I was a baby. My father blames me. He hates me. Always has, Always will." she muttered.

The young man finally squatted down so that he was closer to her. Now Loren could see his face. His eyes were a brilliant blue, and his smile was wide and open. He had short dark brown hair and it looked like a - damn a military cut.

He looked at her face up close and now he could see that she was a lot younger than she sounded. Actually she looked like she might be just a teenager.

She ventured a question. "Are you in the military?"

He raised an eyebrow. _How the heck did she know that?_ "Yes. I'm in the Navy. Currently on leave before I ship out next week. How did you know that?"

Loren lifted a hand and gestured to his face. "Your haircut. It's at military length."

He nodded and she yawned. He glanced at his watch and stood up. "It's Twenty Hundred hours. You sure you don't want to come in and have some of that lasagne I mentioned? I don't really like the idea of you being out here on the beach after dark."

He held out a hand intending for her to take it so he could help her up. Loren nodded and grabbed his hand. He braced himself as she stood up.

Loren decided not to argue. She was hungry and tired, and she too didn't really want to stay out on the beach overnight. And if this meal just happened to have a bed or even a couch for the night, attached to it, that would be great too. The tingles she felt as she held his hand were interesting too. Oh yes, his hand, They were still holding hands. Loren opened her fingers and allowed his hand to drop away.

Now that she was standing up, she could see that he was very tall. Taller than any of her brothers and they were all 6 feet.

He grinned again and turned towards the houses. "Follow me. By the way, My name is Harm, What's yours?

"Loren."

"Hello, Loren. Welcome to La Jolla." Harm swept an arm out to indicate the beach and the houses.

Loren followed Harm up to the gate of the nearest large two story house. He opened the gate and indicated she should go first. Loren was not comfortable with men being so chivalrous. It usually mean one of two things. That they thought women were dumb and couldn't do anything, or that that the man wanted something - usually sex. But in the interests of food and possibly shelter for the night, she stayed quiet and walked through the gate. On the other side, she stopped and waited for Harm to latch the gate shut and walk past her so she could follow him up the path.

As they reached the stairs, the door opened and a man stood there. "You found another stray, Harm?" This man was much older than Harm. Loren figured he was Harm's father but he did not look like Harm at all.

"Sure, Frank." Harm grinned again as they entered the house. "You know I pick up all the strays I find on the beach. This one walked all the way down from Pendleton. She's tired and hungry. She needs some food and a place to sleep."

Frank had a look of concern on his face. "Pendleton? She's not AWOL, is she?"

"No, Frank. She looks too young. Probably a dependent."

Loren interrupted. "Can you not speak as if I'm invisible? And how do you know I come from Pendleton? I didn't say I came from Pendleton, I said I came from Oceanside."

Harm turned back to Loren with a grin. "You know what a military haircut looks like. You didn't ask what time I meant when I said, it was twenty hundred hours, which means you know military time, and the way you spoke of your father sounds just like the marine sexist attitude they usually have towards women, especially at Camp Pendleton, which is of course right outside Oceanside."

Loren wilted and conceded the point as she nodded. "OK, Yes I am a dependent. My father is a Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant at Camp Pendleton and he's hated me ever since my mother died after I was born. He has told me over and over again, that he wished, I had died and not my mother. It wasn't quite so bad when I was younger. I was just a tomboy in pants and back then I was just one of the guys. I have 4 older brothers. But it's gotten a lot worse since I was 12 years old and grew up."

Frank sucked in his breath and said "Ouch".

Harm nodded. "Do you think we can help in some way, Frank?"

Frank looked at Harm and smiled. "Why do you want to help her, Harm?"

Harm blushed again and shrugged helplessly.

Frank turned to Loren and spoke. "First, what's your name?"

"Loren Singer"

"And how old are you?"

"Sixteen"

Frank cocked an eyebrow at Harm, who blushed.

"And are you still in high school?"

"Yes Sir. I will be going into Grade 12 when School starts up again."

"Do you have any idea what you want to do with your life?"

Loren shook her head. "Other than getting away from my family as soon as possible, no, not really."

"OK then." Frank nodded. Loren's stomach rumbled and Loren blushed.

"I forgot about the lasagne," Harm groaned. "I offered her some left over lasagne. I know we have plenty."

Loren was ushered through the kitchen and into the dining room where Harm pulled out a seat for her at the table.

A few minutes later a plate of hot lasagne was placed in front of her. Harm sat down beside her with his plate of lasagne as well. Minutes later Frank also sat down at the table.

"If I may ask, what about your mother, Harm" Loren asked shyly.

Frank waved his fork in the air. "My wife is working late tonight. Don't worry about her - she knows all about the strays and waifs that Harm brings home. Most of them are of the 4 legged variety, but occasionally he brings home a kid who really needs help. Harm has a keen sense of justice and what is right, and he can usually tell when someone needs help. He's pretty good like that."

Loren looked at Harm again, and once again he blushed. By now she was quite impressed with Harm. Here was a military sailor who actually cared about his fellow man.

"So what do you do in the Navy, Harm?" Loren asked politely.

"I'm a pilot. I fly Tomcats - just like my father did." Harm spoke with passion in his voice.

_His father? Wasn't Frank his father?_ Loren frowned.

Frank watched Loren's face and spoke up. "Loren. I'm Harm's stepfather. I married his mother after his own dad was shot down in Vietnam when Harm was just 5 years old."

Loren nodded and continued eating. _Well that explained why he and Harm didn't look anything alike._

Once their plates were empty, Frank had cleared the table and refused Loren's offer of help with the dishes. He indicated the dishwasher and told her to go sit with Harm out on the patio.

"I think he might like to get to know you a bit better. But go easy on him, ok? He's kind of shy around women." Frank winked. "I'll make sure there is a bed ready for you in one of the guestrooms, and tomorrow you can decide what you want to do for your future."

"Thank you, Frank. You are both been so incredibly helpful. I don't know what to say."

Frank nodded out to the patio and said "Like I said, go easy on him."

Loren wandered out to the patio and stood there. She wasn't sure if she had the right to just sit down. So she looked out towards the ocean and the stunning view. The sun was just setting and the colours exploded across the sky.

"Sit down Loren, please. I promise I won't bite." Harm indicated a chair and Loren sat down.

"I can see you have some questions. Ask away." Harm leaned back and waited.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this? Treating me so nicely? What's in it for you? What's your last name?" the questions poured out of Loren's brain and into Harm's ears.

"I had a somewhat rough childhood, especially after my father was shot down and I treated Frank rather horribly after he married my mother. I know your father is treating you very badly, and I'd like to help you so that your future is not ruined. I don't get anything out of this. I honestly believe this is the right thing to do. My full name is Harmon Rabb junior - named after my dad. Frank's last name is Burnett, and my mother's name is Trisha Burnett."

Loren gasped. "Mrs B's Gallery? That TV show? The most famous art gallery in California? Where all the best art shows happen and where all the celebrities want to be and be seen? She puts on wonderful parties. I love the art pieces she puts on display and her TV shows are just incredible. I have learned so much about art from her."

Loren was shocked and thrilled to discover that Harm's mother was the very popular socialite she had seen on TV many times. Mrs Burnett filmed an arts show that aired on TV regularly and Loren had learned a lot about Art, and Art History from her.

Harm smiled. He was pleased to discover that Loren knew who his mother was and that she loved art.

"So, Loren do you have any idea what you might want to do with your life?" Harm asked.

"I have no idea. I have several things I loved doing but my father says that I don't need to be wasting time by doing those. I wouldn't be any good anyway. All a girl is good for is to have babies. That is their job." The frown on Loren's face was very dark.

Harm was shocked.

"Are you sure he said that? Those exact words? Those are pretty strong words. Your Dad is in the marine corp. He should not be that sexist." Harm was shocked that a marine held such outdated views and opinions.

"The men can get away with this at Pendleton because the boot camp at Pendleton trains only men. All the women go to boot camp at Parris Island so clearly the officers at Parris island have either toned down their language and attitudes or they genuinely know what women are capable of doing. At Pendleton the attitude is that women are born ONLY to be in servitude to men, to be barefoot and pregnant and spreading their legs..." Loren's voice trailed off as she watched Harm's face blush bright red. But he recovered quickly.

"Why has noone complained? Why haven't you complained?"

"The only women on base are dependents, either spouses or daughters, and almost every daughter leaves Pendleton as soon as she can - and definitely by the time she turns 18. What happens between a husband and his wife is personal and seems to not be specifically covered by the UCMJ. And my dad always makes sure that what he says to me is done in private where noone else can hear him.

"There was one time I tried to tell a teacher at school, but she told me that "Marines just don't talk like that." She said that every marine she had ever spoken to has always treated her very politely. So I stopped trying to find anyone to help me. But since I turned 12 years old, the language and the intimidation from my father and brothers has been getting worse. "

Harm was shocked to hear of this sexist attitude amongst the marines.

"Surely there are female marines posted to Pendleton?"

"Occasionally there are - but they usually ask to transfer out within a few weeks. I don't think any female marine has lasted more than 2 months at Pendleton."

"Loren, if you had an opportunity, what would you want to do to solve that situation. Anything you can think of, and assume money was no problem."

"I think I would like to take my father and brothers to court and have them charged with emotional, verbal and maybe even sexual abuse.

"I would also want to become an emancipated minor so I can live on my own away from them.

"And lastly I would love to go to university and law school. I want to become a lawyer so that I can charge these creepy marines and be able to help female soldiers to hold their heads up high while they serve their country. But I can't afford to go to college."

"Was there any particular university or college you wanted to attend?" Frank asked.

"The best law schools that I know of, are Georgetown and Harvard."

Just then they were interrupted by Trisha Burnett, who had finally returned home from her gallery.

"Harm, darling."

Harm stood up and kissed his mother on her cheek.

"Mom, This is Loren Singer, one of your biggest fans."

Loren blushed as she shook hands with Trisha Burnett. "Um, Mrs Burnett, it is such an honour to meet you. I have been a huge fan of your TV show for many years."

Trisha smiled, as she cast a critical eye over this girl. She looked far too young to be one of Harm's new girlfriends.

"Welcome to my home, Loren, Tell me, how did you and Harm meet?"

"Oh, I'm just one of Harm's strays and waifs - I think that was how Frank put it. We met on the beach."

"She's run away from home, Mom, and I found her on the beach. Frank and I want to help her since she is in a rather abusive situation. You know how you and Frank have been helping teenagers who were in need? Well I was wondering if maybe we could help Loren?"

Trisha looked at Harm with a serious look on her face.

"You're sure about this?" she asked.

Harm nodded. "Yes, Mom, I am."

Trisha turned and left the patio with her voice floating back.

"OK, Harm, I trust you. I'll just have a quick discussion with Frank and be back shortly to have a chat with Loren. I need to get changed into something more comfortable first."

Loren stared at Harm with wide eyes.

"What are you doing Harm? Why are you doing this for me?"

Harm turned to face Loren and spoke. "I can't stand to see a beautiful teenager like you being abused so badly by her family, and I want to help. I know we haven't known each other very long, but do you think you can trust me? Trust my family? I have an idea and a plan to help you."

"If you don't want to stay with your father, you can stay here. Mom and Frank are licensed and qualified as Foster parents. They prefer to accept teenagers and older children, which kind of makes them popular with the Child Welfare Department. Most of the kids they have to deal with are under the age of 10. But if they get a kid aged 10 or older, they often get placed here until the Child Welfare can find them a permanent home.

"Frank may even be able to get your father to give up his parental rights to make you an emancipated minor. Then you can move down here and attend the local high school here for your grade 12 year. That would give you a chance to forget your home live for a while and concentrate on your academics, so you can get into Harvard Law School.

"I was an only child, and Frank and Mom do not have any kids. Since I am in the Navy, clearly I am not currently living at home, so Frank and Mom can give you all the attention you need. Mom can help you with clothes and fashion - she's pretty good with that kind of stuff.

"You can stay here with us until you turn 18 if you wish and once you are legally an adult, you are free to do whatever you choose and are no longer answerable to your father."

Harm stopped talking and looked over at Loren. She had a shocked look on her face and all she could do was to nod her head up and down as if she was saying YES.

"I take it you would like to do this?" Harm grinned.

"I..I..I'd..I would love to do this. But are you sure? What about your mom? She doesn't even know anything about me yet."

"True, she doesn't know you, yet.."Harm replied, "- but she'll come around. We've done this a few times before, and so far none of the kids have let us down. I'm sure you won't either. I know that Mom and Frank became foster parents after I went to Vietnam when I was 16, looking for my father. They want to help other teenagers who were down on their luck, and need a helping hand. They choose to do this because they want to be able to give back to the community and helping teenagers who desperately need help, is the one way they think they can help. I do what I can to help, such as bringing home any strays I find on the beach." Harm grinned as he finished talking.

While Loren was sitting there with a gob-smacked look on her face, Trisha and Frank both came bustling back out onto the patio, and together they sat down around Loren.

Loren knew this situation was serious and that was probably the last chance she had to make something of her life. She was determined to do whatever she could to grab this opportunity with both hands.

Trisha, asked just one question

"So Loren tell us about yourself."

"I'm 16 years old, and I live on Camp Pendleton. Mother died when I was born and my father hates me, and blames me for her death. I have four older brothers and there is a major sexist attitude all over camp Pendleton that says that women are not capable of doing anything other than serving men, being barefoot and pregnant and spreading their legs.

"I was not aware of this when I was younger, but when I hit puberty at the age of 12, things began to change. Over the last 4 years I have been treated more and more horribly by my father, my brothers and a good number of other soldiers on the base. I have been pushed up against walls and had hands groping me up between my legs - outside of my clothes. So far noone has gotten inside my clothes yet.

"If anyone wants to make a lewd suggestion to me or make a rude gesture, my family does or says nothing to stop them.

"There are no older girls I can ask to help. As soon as any daughter can do so, they leave the base - usually to attend college anywhere else except Oceanside. The wives are all verbally and emotionally abused and are of no help. They have been told this stuff for so long that they simply cannot move past it to do anything to help themselves. I did try to tell a teacher at school once, but they did not believe me, so I don't bother to mention it to anyone any more.

"Last week, I overheard my brothers talking about me. They were asking my dad when was I going to taught my lesson for being a killer and killing their mom. They said that I should pay for what I did.

"I have been watching Mrs Burnett's art show on TV for several years now. I can say with all certainty that I have grown to love art and art history totally because of her. She is a working woman, and so there are women out there who can have careers despite what my father says, and if Mrs Burnett can do it, then so can I.

"That's why I left home two days ago. I went down to Oceanside beach and just started walking south, staying on the beach all the way down. That's why I didn't see any signs. I didn't have a plan, other than I just needed to get out and get away before I lost all sense of myself. And here I am."

Loren stopped talking. She had tears in her eyes, as she waited with a fearful look in her eyes, that maybe she night lose the only chance she felt she had, to really make something of her life.

Trisha, Frank and harm saw the tears in Loren's eyes and knew that every word she spoke was the truth.

Frank spoke up.

"I'll get a lawyer to talk to your dad and make him two offers but he gets to choose only one of them. One offer will be for him to give up all permanent parental rights to you and the second offer will be for him and his sons to go to court with a charge of sexual, emotional and verbal abuse against you.

"Assuming he chooses to give up his parental rights, (rather than go to court) then Trisha and I will become your guardians and you can live with us, finish high school, go to any college or university you want to and generally be part of this family. You can call us your foster family if you like. How does that sound to you?"

Loren smiled through her tears."It sounds wonderful." she whispered.

"Good. Do you have any questions?"

"Can-Can I call you Mom and Dad?" Loren asked tearfully.

Trisha and Frank looked at each other and smiled. "Of course you can."

Loren nodded. One last question, "May I have a hug please? I have not been hugged for a very long time and I would really love a hug.

Harm stood up and motioned with his hands. "Everyone up - group hug."

Loren finally got the family hug, and the family she had been craving for the last four years of her life.

One year later and Loren had settled in at the Burnett household and was attending La Jolla East High school. Her father had taken the easier choice of giving up his parental rights to Loren rather than have his name and his sons dragged through the courts in a sexual assault case. Thus allowing Loren to become an emancipated minor by the time she was 17 years old.

Despite only spending one year at La Jolla East High school, she joined the Navy ROTC corps, and made some good friends as well as enjoying herself. She was finally in a stress free environment could study in peace and had no trouble keeping up with her studies. Loren passed her SATs with excellent scores and had been accepted into both Harvard and Georgetown universities. She chose Georgetown just to be close to the Smithsonian Museums of Art.

Loren attended Georgetown University in Washington DC under the Navy ROTC program from 1990 to 1994. She graduated with an undergraduate double major degree in Art History and Political Science, and then went on to Georgetown Law School to become a lawyer.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - I need to cover a lot of years here to fill in the background. So I apologise but Harriet won't actually show up until chapter 3. Also this story is expanding, so there will now be more than 3 chapters.

A/N - This chapter uses lines and events from the following Episodes - High Ground, Smoked, The Prisoner, Skeleton Crew, We the People, To Russia with Love and Yeah Baby.

A/N - Harm does NOT make any baby deal with Mac whatsoever.

HR

Chapter 2

**Covering the years 1991 to 1999**

Harm suffered a crippling ramp strike in 1991. Loren spent the latter part of 1991 at Georgetown University worrying about Harm and his recovery. Once he was released from the hospital, he was given a further six months of medical leave, covering the first half of 1992. Harm spent this time at Grandma Sarah's farm in Pennsylvania, during which time, he rehabilitated himself by restoring his fathers old stearman bi-plane, and naming it Sarah after his grandmother.

Loren frequently drove from DC up to the farm, on long weekends, to visit with Harm and Grams. Harm finally opted to change his designator to JAG and he enrolled at Georgetown Law school in September 1992.

During the three years Harm was Georgetown, he and Loren drew closer together. Harm had never forgotten those tingles he had felt when he first held her hand on the beach all those years ago when Loren was just a teenager. In the years since Loren had become an unofficial foster sister and Harm's best friend, Harm been falling in love with her.

He chose to attend Georgetown Law school on the Navy's dime, precisely because that was where Loren was already studying. She was on a Navy ROTC scholarship, but received extra financial help from her unofficial foster parents.

Loren graduated from Georgetown in May 1994 with her double major degree in Art History and Political Science. Before attending Law School however, she was required to attend Officers Candidate School (OCS) for 3 months in order to become an officer in the United States Navy. When she started back at Law School in September Loren was quite exhausted but happy, since she had passed and was now a commissioned Lieutenant (jg) in the Navy.

The year of 1994-95 was the best year for Harm and Loren. They were both together at the same law school, Harm as a third year student and Loren as a first year. They studied together, ate together, did everything together actually. The only thing they did not do, was to sleep together. Harm was far too much of a gentleman.

Harm graduated from Georgetown Law School in May 1995. The day after Harm's graduation from Georgetown, he and Loren drove to Gram Sarah's farm. On the farm, Harm told Loren that he was in love with her and asked her to marry him. Loren agreed, said she was in love with him, and flung her arms around his neck. Harm was 30 years old, and Loren was 22 years old.

The first thing they did was to book the Navy Cathedral at the Annapolis Naval academy for the following year - specifically the last weekend in May 1996 for the wedding ceremony. Trisha and Frank agreed to pay for the reception and a photographer to take the wedding photographs on a luxury yacht cruising the Chesapeake Bay. Loren refused to invite anyone from her family. Frank agreed to step in as the "Father of the bride" for the occasion.

Harm was required to report to the NJS in Rhode Island for three months of Navy legal training. Everyone hoped that Harm's first duty station would be somewhere around the DC area. Loren still had two more years of Law school to complete before she could graduate.

The family breathed a huge sigh of relief when Harm's orders came through and he was posted to the Trials Service Office (TSO) at JAG HQ in Falls Church, Virginia, just south of the Potomac river. Thus Harm and Loren should have been able spend their first year of married life together while Loren completed her law degree. But that's not what happened.

That year was a difficult year for Loren. She and Harm were engaged to be married, but Harm was spending a lot of time with his new partner, a tall willowy blonde Navy Lieutenant (jg) from Texas.

Harm and Meg had to find a serial killer who was targeting Navy Lieutenants in the vicinity of the Arlington National cemetery.

Harm's best friend from the Navy academy at Annapolis, lost his life in a plane crash and Harm and Meg were required to go and investigate. He later told Loren that Luke's son Joshua was Harm's godson, but the way Luke's widow Annie was behaving, she was going to make sure that Joshua did not become as a Navy pilot and end up dying the same way his father did.

Harm and Meg also got to see how the Space Shuttle Astronauts were being trained while investigating a death at Edwards AFB as well.

In March 1996, JAG underwent some major personnel changes. Harm was now having to deal with a new Commanding officer and a female superior officer who spotted Harm's good looks and decided that she would have him. So she began sexually harassing him. Harm just kept saying NO.

Shortly after this changeover, Harm and Meg as well as Harm's old flying buddy Jack Keeter and Commander Krennick, all went to Cuba to retrieve a vital piece of software.

Things came to a head the day after Harm got back from Cuba when Commander Krennick pushed her way into Harms home, saying that she needed a hot bath, a good breakfast and a long weekend in bed.

"You up to it?" Krennick demanded as she headed for the shower room and came out seconds later, fuming.

"There's a woman in your shower." she yelled, as she slammed the front door behind her.

Harm grinned as he spoke to empty air. "Commander, I'd like you to meet Loren Marie Singer, my fiancee."

Singer came bustling out of the shower with a large towel wrapped around her, and a scowl on her face. "Who the hell was that?" she asked.

"That was Commander Krennick, and I hope she has learned her lesson." Harm smiled. "She thinks she can have any man she chooses and for some reason she wants me."

"You are not available so make sure you tell her that, please." Loren demanded.

Harm nodded.

Harm told Krennick tht he was engaged to be married but Krennick continued to chase him. Harm however began keeping a record of every harassing incident that Krennick had initiated towards him, starting with her harassment in Cuba and her invasion of his home.

In May of 1996, Harm was captured near Hong Kong and he spent several weeks in China being interrogated. The wedding had to be postponed. When Harm finally came home in the first week of July, he was given one month of leave to recuperate. Since he and Loren had lost the Navy chapel booking, both the wedding and the reception were rescheduled for the Luxury yacht on the Chesapeake Bay.

Harm and Loren's wedding finally took place on July 20 1996, on the summer equinox. It went off without a hitch. It was an absolutely beautiful day with blue skies, warm wind, a smooth sea and not a cloud in sight. The wedding party itself was quite small, and most of the guests were friends of the groom. Harm and Loren spent one week down in Key West in Florida on their honeymoon since Loren had never been there before.

After his leave was over, Harm went back to JAG, changed his Page Two records at BUPERS and at JAG to indicate that he now had a spouse and tried to stay out of Commander Krennick's way. He wore his wedding ring but didn't give out any details other than confirming that he was married if anyone asked.

If they pushed for further details he would tell them, "My marriage is private and I would like to keep it that way, thank you." This however did not stop Krennick who continued to find ways of getting her and Harm together alone.

Harm thought back to the time when he and Meg were on a case down at Quantico Base. Krennick had sent Meg off to do something, and then told Harm that she was planning a retreat. "I've planned an officers' retreat at Admiral Chegwidden's beach house on Hilton Head. I expect you to attend."

Harm, as always, tried to wriggle out. "I may have to send my regrets to the Admiral."

Krennick's smile was meant to be seductive. "Actually, the Admiral won't be there." she said. "Just you and me."

Harm added this blatant sexual harassment incident to his records.

Then came the final incident. Harm and Meg were called down to Norfolk for a murder of a crypto officer from the Seahawk carrier in November of 1996. The NCIS agent afloat from the Seahawk, Brian Turque, was already on site and in charge. When Harm and Meg showed up, Harm was devastated to discover that the dead victim was his old academy friend Diane Schonke. Agent Turque automatically demanded that Harm be removed from the case saying that he was not permitted to investigate his girlfriends death.

"How about my sister?" Rabb demanded

"She was your sister?" Agent Turque asked.

" No, but that's a better way to describe our relationship, and I'm not leaving her murder investigation to someone who jumps to conclusions as fast as you." Harm retorted.

Commander Krennick was apprised of the situation and she spoke to Admiral Chegwidden.

"The victim was a girlfriend of Commander Rabb's?" the Admiral asked.

"An academy classmate. He claims their relationship was strictly platonic, Admiral." Krennick's tone of voice was clearly sceptical.

"Then I'm sure it was." said the Admiral.

Krennick continued. "NCIS is demanding to have him removed from the investigation."

"Demanding?" The Admiral growled.

" Yes, sir. Specifically, the investigator onboard the Seahawk. An Agent Turque." Kreenick replied.

"Turque? You're kidding me?" Chegwidden was aghast.

" No, sir." Krennick kept her face expressionless.

"And I thought Chegwidden was bad." the Admiral was poking fun at his own name.

"He's demanding that Lieutenant Commander Rabb be removed from the investigation, sir." Krennick repeated. She wanted Rabb removed as well.

"Nobody pulls a JAG officer off an investigation except me or God and he hasn't asked." Admiral Chegwidden growled.

"Anyway, as I was saying, technically, this NCIS agent has jurisdiction."

" You have a solution?" asked the Admiral.

"Yes, sir. I take point in the JAG investigation."

"Alison, you're a hell of a prosecutor, but you're not a murder investigator."

"I would be with Commander Rabb as my assistant. I admit, it's walking the ethical tightrope, but it would combine his skills with my judgement which is free of his emotional entanglement."

Chegwidden took just a few seconds to make a decision. "Do it."

After Commander Krennick arrived at Norfolk to take point on the investigation, she gave Rabb an order to stay and get his orders.

"Stay a moment, Commander...So it was just platonic?" Krennick was clearly fishing.

"Don't start, Commander."

"I've always maintained that there's no such thing as a platonic relationship between a healthy man and woman, unless one of them is gay and the other is neutered." At last Rabb had a reason why Krennick was always sexually harassing him. Because basically, she did not know how to be friends.

"Diane and I never slept together." Harm reiterated.

"What were you going to do all weekend, playing gin?" Krennick clearly did not believe him.

"Red light, Commander." Harmon was furious and frustrated but she was his superior officer and he could not leave until she dismissed him.

"My God, I think you really mean it." Krennick was almost laughing at him.

"I do." Rabb was serious.

"Agent Turque wants you off this case because he didn't buy your "good friends" story any more than I did." Krennick clearly did not believe in team work since she did not believe or support her own team mate. She continued speaking in a sexy tone of voice. "Perhaps if I could understand, I could convince him."

Rabb explained. "Diane and I both played by the rules and the rules at the academy were clear. Maybe we played by them so long, we didn't know how to do anything else. Whatever the reason, Diane and I never had a sexual relationship. And frankly, I don't give a damn if you or Turque or anybody believes me. All I care about is nailing whoever did this to her. And if you have any decency, Commander, you won't ask me anything personal about us again."

Harm had had enough. Despite his being arrested by Agent Turque for the death of Lieutenant Lamm, whom he thought had killed Diane, the forensics team at NCIS were eventually able to declare him innocent.

Rabb stopped being a fan of the civilian agency called NCIS. They had rushed to judgement and were too fast to make an arrest without looking at all the evidence.

He also decided that it was time for Commander Krennick to be hauled over the coals for all her sexual harrassment and insinuations. He thought she was abusing her rank far too much. So Harm finally submitted his report of all the times she had touched him, ordered him to meet her privately, or spoken to him on a sexual manner.

This had unintended consequences. Commander Krennick was sent to Naples in Italy, while Harm stayed at JAG. But his partner, Lieutenant (jg) Meg Austin also disappeared. All the Admiral could say was that she had been seconded to a secret mission with the ONI.

Loren graduated from Georgetown Law School in May 1997, attended the Navy Justice school in Rhode Island for three months and was then assigned to the Regional Legal Services Office at the Naval Academy in Annapolis. She and Harm now had to find a house between DC and Annapolis.

Loren's job was pretty similar to that of a civilian lawyer except that she only dealt with Academy midshipmen, active duty Navy personnel, Marine Corps and Coast Guard service members and their dependents, reservists on active duty for 30 days or more, and Navy retirees. She provided legal services ranging from divorce and child custody agreements, Navy entitlements and benefits, landlord-tenant disputes, immigration, and drafting wills.

Harm was awarded a DFC in a ceremony at the White House, his wife Loren giving him the congratulatory kiss. Minutes later Harm was introduced to his new partner, a Marine Major named Sarah MacKenzie. She looked so much like Diane Schonke, Harm was shocked.

"You two know each other?" the Admiral asked.

Harm forgot where he was and said, " Yes, sir."

Mac was insistent "No, sir." she replied.

Harm was apologetic."Oh, I'm sorry, Major. Of course I don't know you. I just had a moment of deja vu."

"It must be the uniform." Major MacKenzie quipped.

Harm felt the need to explain. "No, actually, she was in the Navy."

The Admiral interrupted this little tete a tete. "Don't get too familiar. You're gonna work together."

Harm groaned inwardly at that news. How was he going to cope working alongside a Diane look-alike every day, especially when the feelings he had for Diane were as if she had been his sister. And he was married too. So he decided that he would have to treat this Marine Major as a sister as well. He really hoped that she would not start harassing him like Commander Krennick had done.

Their first assignment sent them both out west. Since he and Loren lived out towards Annapolis, Harm always made sure that he had a go-bag in the trunk of his car every day. He no longer had the luxury of spare time to go home and get changed. Harm barely had time to let his wife know where he was going before he and the major were on a plane to Yuma, Arizona.

"That's a very nice smile and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want. But I don't know you, Commander. So if you don't mind, I'll keep my personal reasons to myself." Mac was not surprisingly, quite reticent.

Harm signed. "I keep forgetting I don't know you."

"Deja vu again?" Mac asked.

"Only whenever I see your face or hear you talk. She was like a sister to me."

"Sounds like I have a twin out there."

"Not anymore." Harm was morose.

Harm and the marine major seemed to get along well enough during that first mission in Arizona. Harm was lucky that he did not fall off the Helicopter. He made a note to himself to never ever tell his wife just how close he had come to falling to his death.

After his Chinese prison experience, Harm had developed an obsession with finding his father and in May 1998, he and Mac flew off to Russia to try and find Harmon Rabb Senior.

In April 1999, Harm had his eyes looked at and was told that his eyes were not damaged, only scarred. His night vision could be fixed with some laser surgery. Harm spoke to Loren about how disappointed he was that he had not been able to make his own decision to stop flying.

He now had the opportunity to rectify that, and would Loren mind terribly much if Harm got his eyes fixed and reapplied to do one last tour of duty as an active duty naval aviator? Knowing just how much flying meant to Harm, and also knowing that this tour of duty would mean a six month separation, Loren agreed to allow Harm to live out his dream. So Harm got his eyes repaired.

When Mac found out, she was not at all happy that Harm was going back to flying. Neither was the Admiral when Harm knocked on his door.

" Can this wait?" the Admiral asked.

" Well, sir, I've been putting this off for two days already, Admiral. If you wouldn't mind Sir, I'd like the opportunity to change my designator. I joined the Navy to serve as Naval aviator, which I was forced to abandon because of a medical problem which has since been corrected. Sir, I've enjoyed my time here at JAG, especially serving under you, Admiral, but I I also believe that I could be of service to the Navy and to my country if I return to active flight status."

"Nice speech. How long you been practising?" Chegwidden was staggered with this request from out of the blue.

"Admiral, I was forced to give up flying. It was never my decision. And if I decide to stay here at JAG, I would like it to be my decision."

"Well, this sounds stupid." Chegwidden cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. "But you given this a lot of thought, commander? Talked to your wife about this?"

"Day and night, sir, for quite some time. And yes she fully supports my decision."

"If you go back to a squadron, providing that you can pass the flight physical-"

" I can pass the physical, sir." Harm interrupted

"-You'll be going backwards. Hell, you might be taking orders from guys half your age. Not too many 35-year-old JAG lawyers flying these days either, commander."

"Well, I'd like the opportunity to be the first, sir." Harm was insistent.

"Well, I think we should discuss this at length." Chegwidden really did not want his best lawyer going off to fly and possibly getting himself killed.

"Admiral, I love the law, but all I have ever really wanted to do was fly." Harm was desperate. He could see that the Admiral was very reluctant to give permission for him to leave.

"- So did Icarus." Chegwidden was grasping at straws.

" Icarus never flew an F-14, sir."

"As commanding officer, I sometimes have to make decisions that I consider best for my people. Occasionally, those decisions are in opposition to the individual." The admiral tried once again to have Harm change his mind, and was not happy to see the angry look in Harms eyes as he spoke.

"Sir, are you saying that you are not going to approve my request?"

"You're gonna need a lot more than my approval to make this happen." Chegwidden was almost shouting.

"It can't happen without your approval, admiral." Harm stood fast. By now he was determined to win this battle.

"I have a speech to give this afternoon, commander. I will give you my decision in due time. Dismissed." Chegwidden stopped fighting after he could see in Harm's eyes that Harm would clearly not be happy at JAG if he were forced to stay against his will.

"Aye, aye, sir." Harm was resigned to being refused permission and he mentally began writing his resignation request.

Later that day when he told Mac about his intention of returning to flying duties, she was not at all happy.

"I got my night vision back." Harm stated

"What?" Mac was shocked. "When did this happen?"

" Couple of weeks ago." Harm shrugged.

"You had a major operation and you didn't tell me?" Mac was furious.

"Triple bypass is a major operation, Mac. Eye surgery is like having your teeth cleaned. I do tell you when I'm going to the dentist."

"So, what now? Are you thinking about trying to return to a fighter squadron?"

Harm nodded. "I spent my life preparing to be a Naval aviator, Mac."

"Yeah, except for three years in law school and four years as a JAG." Mac was being sarcastic.

"I put my request in to Admiral Chegwidden today to return to active flight status." Harm told his partner like it was a done deal.

"You can't do that." Mac was very agitated.

"Why not?" Harm demanded.

"Because if you do, it would mean flying is more important to you than JAG, it's more important to you than me. It's more important to y- To you than everything." Mac was desolate. She could not voice the real reason why she did not want Harm to leave. She felt like she was being abandoned - yet again.

"I thought you, of all people, would know how much flying means to me." Harm was not happy that Mac thought he would so easily give up his dreams of flying.

"I do. I do, Harm. But this is the last thing that I need right now."

"You're starting to sound a lot like a wife, Mac. And we both know that you are not my wife." Harm was careful not to imply that he was already married. Nor did he let on that his wife did support his desire to return to flying.

Loren had kept her BUPERS detailer on the ball by having him keep a close eye out for any opportunity to move to JAG HQ. Her excellent record at Annapolis spoke for itself, and she was quickly transferred to the TSO on a 6 month TAD while Harm was away flying.

From her husband, Loren had heard plenty of stories and rumors about Major Sarah MacKenzie. Harm had been furious when it was discovered that Mac had lied to the US Marine Corp about being married. After her husband was found dead in a hotel room, and Mac had been cleared of the murder charges for his death, Loren decided that the Major was not exactly a nice person.

Harm was not in love with Mac in any way, but he did have to work closely with her.


End file.
